Rules for writers

Written by Jenni Larson on http://www.curiouser.co.uk/paradoxes/rules.htm


Verbs has to agree with their subjects.
Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
Avoid clichés like the plague. (They're old hat.)
Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
Be more or less specific.
Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
No sentence fragments.
Contractions aren't necessary and shouldn't be used.
Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.
One should NEVER generalize.
Comparisons are as bad as clichés.
Don't use no double negatives.
One-word sentences? Eliminate.
Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
The passive voice is to be ignored.
Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.
DO NOT use exclamation points and all caps to emphasize!!!
Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth shaking ideas.
Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed.
Puns are for children, not groan readers.
Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
Who needs rhetorical questions?
Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
A writer must not shift your point of view.
Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences of 10 or more words, to their antecedents.
Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided.
If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.
Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing metaphors.
Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.
Everyone should be careful to use a singular pronoun with singular nouns in their writing.
Always pick on the correct idiom.
The adverb always follows the verb.
Be careful to use the rite homonym.
Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

It takes one to have the other

Inspired by Jason Mraz's song 'Life is Wonderful'. The words go along the lines of: 'It takes a crane to build a crane, it takes a hen to make an egg, it takes an egg to make a hen, it takes some silence to make sound, it takes a road to go nowhere, it takes a toll to make you care, it takes one to have the other.' Not in that order or anything, but the words are in there somewhere ;)

So the point is - it takes evil to know good, and hate to know love. If you have been through trials and have been hated or despised for one reason or the other, than you know love when you see it. Likewise, as it says somewhere in the bible (please, add the reference if you know, when I find it I will add it in) he how has been forgiven much will forgive much. When you know the love it takes for God and others to forgive you, how much easier then is it for you to forgive? I think it works the same in something that is personal to you. If you struggle with a particular sin for a long time, and only by God's grace and a lot of perseverance are you finally free, then you will see people that struggle with the same sin in a completely different light. Maybe this makes your ministry choice easier - to go somewhere you have been - and have come out the other side. Once your healing has begun, then you are able to help heal others.

On this note, I was listening to a preacher by the name of Kris Vallotton, who was talking about when Jesus approached the region of Gerasenes (in Mark ch 5) where a demon possessed man was causing trouble, and he cast the demons (named Legion, for they were many) into the herd of pigs, and the man was free. Jesus then left the region, because the herdsmen keeping the pigs were angry with him, and the former demon possessed man pleaded to go with him. Jesus declined, saying "Go home to your family and tell them how much the Lord has done for you, and how he has had mercy on you." In another words - he left the man to minister to the people - having only just been healed himself. What could this man possibly teach the people? Not about the laws and doctrines, not about faith or God - only what he had seen first hand. And Jesus didn't leave someone with him to teach him - he told him to go straight out and share what he knew. So there you go.

Proverbs 27:7

"He who is full loathes honey, but to the hungry even what is bitter tastes sweet."

Spiritually, emotionally, in love. You can get the gist of the literal meaning of the verse: if you eat rich food and are full, you won't want a rich dessert. But if you are starving, a piece of stale bread or old food will taste wonderful. The point is, don't settle for second best. Don't go for the stale bread when if you wait just a little longer, there will be honey. Just because you have a need to fill, a hunger, doesn't mean you should have the first offer. Wait for first prize. This is important in love - God wants you to hold out, hang on until who he has made for you comes along. First prize. If you have to ask if this is the best God has for you, maybe it isn't. Maybe you are settling for bitter food, thinking it is sweet.

In Training

This is a revelation God gave me through the book 'Wild at Heart' - I am just repeating it, but with more depth.

When an athlete trains, if he wants to become a great athlete, he trains his body to withstand all sorts of trials; cold, heat, pain, wounds, hunger, lack of sleep and other hardships. So must we, as warriors for God, train ourselves. I thought about this and I thought, what do each of them mean? Individually. What is an example for each that we train ourselves to withstand throughout life?
Cold - emotional distance, when someone is 'punishing' you by being distant and unforgiving. This is the point where you turn to God and get your needs met in him.
Heat - embarrassment, passion, temptation, love in the wrong time, or person. Don't ignore this, don't try to make it go away, give it to God and redirect it.
Pain - betrayal, rejection, personal failure, heartache when it's most fresh.
Wounds - this meaning old pain stored up, unforgiveness (which actually hurts you more than you are wanting to hurt the other person for what they have supposedly done to you)
Hunger - of the spiritual nature. God seems distant, so you turn to other things to satisfy. Don't. Press into him, and continue to ask him - he will satisfy you.
Lack of sleep - physical, but also spiritual. Sometimes all you need is to rest in God, be patient, and just wait. Maybe 'quiet time' or maybe just shut up and listen. Asking God 'What do you want me to do? What are you trying to say? Why won't you talk to me?' Kind of drowns him out, don't you think?
And Hardship - trials, things that come along to knock your legs out from under you, the blows that Satan stores up for when you are weakened, or to try and weaken you. Survive these only by knowing who you are in God, and who God is. If you are confident of your relationship with him, things like these only make you stronger. Still hurts, but you are through.

Small talk

Anyone who knows me well, knows I hate small talk. It's a recent development, and could quite rightly have gone under the 'pet peeve' post. But that's okay, it's my blog and I can do what I like. Even if the only people who read this are my best friends and my mother. Sad, yes it is. Anyway, I hate small talk. The worst offender is the good acquaintance/friend who says, "So how are you?" or "So what have you been up to?" That in itself is okay, just general conversation starters, everyone uses them to get into the meaningful stuff. It's when you say, "Well, the other day I started writing in my blog about my dead cat..." And you take a breath, which to them means - that is all that happened in your week, time for me to intervene with what I really wanted this conversation to be about - me. They begin to tell you what they were thinking about before your reply to their question so rudely interrupted. And so it begins. Another conversation comprised only of this other person and small talk which you aren't allowed to fully answer. Sigh.

Shopping trolleys - an update

Apparently, as I have been informed, there are many working trolleys in the state of Queensland, and it is just me that cannot find any. Maybe I am just a bad-trolley magnet. Is it just me?

Fences - this will be a long one, so put your seat belt on

I was coming back from Toowoomba via bus and train, and what I noticed was that almost every house had a fence. So I decided God should give me a revelation about that. ;) So he did, very generous of him. This is what he said:

1. Almost every house has a fence
2. Fences come in different types: (in no particular order)
a) A tall, thick, no gaps fence - the type to give privacy
b) The decorative fence - just to make the house look pretty, usually white with pickets ;) your standard fence
c) The run down, bits missing and rotten wood fence - the house with no money/no time/don't care or all of the above
d) The fence to keep animals or small children in or out - depending on the size of either, and usually quite sturdy
e) and finally, something to mark a boundary - territory, so all involved know what is whose. (Thank you anonymous source for this one)
3. A fence, while in this case is literal, can also be metaphorical.

My friend taught me the difference between similes and metaphors, so I'm using this opportunity to put that into practise. (My anonymous source also told me I could use practise there and not practice - and not to quote that) Fences of the heart can be examined using the same template that I so brilliantly created above. So here we go:

1. Almost every heart has a fence.
2. Fences of the heart come in many types:
a) The privacy - nobody can see the real you, it's hidden, so your private thoughts stay that way, and that way you don't get hurt. Maybe made by previous hurt?
b) The decorative - To make you a little more exciting - a bit of mystery and frills make you a much more interesting person, so make some things up and add a little bit of fake emotional baggage.
c) The run down - For the weary soul, who used to have the best fence, whose heart was the most protected, but now lies in ruins because the fence wasn't enough. It took so much damage that it couldn't stand. Maybe all that is left is to start again with a new fence.
d) The barrier - to keep people in or out. This decides who is worthy of being in your heart - people or God. Most likely a self-protective manoeuvre.
e) A territorial fence. This part of my heart can be yours, because we are married, but this will always stay mine, and no one is allowed in. This can be things you are afraid to share, or bits of shattered heart that you keep close for fear of losing altogether - so close you won't let anyone heal it.
3. God can heal things - and although a fence wouldn't keep him out, he stays on the outside of it because he is a gentleman. Keep him out, fine, but your heart will be damaged no matter what fence you have, let him in, and your fence will go. Gradually, he will help you to break it down, to become vulnerable, but protected by him. This isn't to say you will not get hurt, but God will change you through it - and you will heal. Trust.

Allocated movie seats - useful or just a pain?

Well, I went to the movies today. (And yesterday, but that's besides the point) Anyways, it started a few months ago, at the movies, when they make you choose where you want to sit in the theatre. Most people, I assume, choose to sit in the middle area, around row J. Now most of us, when they mentioned they were going to bring this in, were thinking, well, I guess it could be okay, but not entirely happy with it. But the system is flawed. Sure, it works fine when everyone sits where they're told to watch the movie, but it just takes one couple on a date to sit in the wrong row because they don't want to sit directly in front of the elderly pair in row G, and the system collapses. Three schoolgirls sit across the row because their seats are taken up by the couple on the date, and then the family of five have to find somewhere else to sit because there aren't enough seats in their row, and the schoolgirls feel bad because they made them move. What a disaster. And it's all the old people's fault. Okay, not really, it's the dating couple, but still. You get the drift.

Pet Peeves

Everyone has them, some have more than others, and I have a lot. So seeing as I have a blog that nobody subscribes to and nobody reads, I shall list them here.
Firstly, it bugs me that (is it just QLD?) not one of the shopping trolleys work properly, no matter where you are. How difficult can it possibly be to create a shopping trolley with 4 working wheels??? Grrr. Surely there must be someone, somewhere that fixes them. You could probably make a fortune from the business.
It also really *miffs* me (I use ** because apparently it is in between neutral and annoyed) when very large 4-wheel drives zoom up behind you with enormous bright lights right at rear-view mirror level and then pass you, only to slow down to just under the speed limit right in front of you.
One thing that doesn't really count as a pet peeve because it doesn't irritate me is people who stand too close, hug too close, and are generally in your personal bubble just that inch too close for social etiquette. And I don't mean friends, I mean people who think they could be in the running for such a position. You all know one.
And lastly, the one pet peeve I cannot stand, is when people leave the end bracket off. (example

Water aerobics

I've decided to take up water aerobics. I thought it might be fun, swimming round in circles with a bunch of old ladies wearing swimming caps. I mean, it can't be all that difficult, can it? I haven't gotten up the courage to sign up just yet, I thought I might leave it for a while. I'm still persuading my mother to join up with me - then I won't feel so out of place! I think I might pass on the swimming cap, though. I'll keep you posted on how it goes!

Be fought for

Ok, lets face it. Deep down a girl really just wants to be fought for. She wants to know she is valued and wanted enough for a man to fight for her. And a man wants to fight for her - wants a battle to fight and someone to fight it for. So why not let him? Why not, instead of being tough and "I can do everything a man can do", why not let him fight for you? Same with God - hes asking you to rest in Him, to let him fight the battles. Before you turn to man, turn to God. He is willing, and able, to fight your battles for you. He wants to be your shield of faith, let him go before you when you are facing troubles. When you are tempted by sin, push God out in front. This is what he wants - to deliver you from the evil one, to come through for you, to protect you. Just let him - don't think you can struggle with sin alone, give it all up to God, he can deal with it. You can't. Let him fight for you.