I found these on various websites, they are some of my favourite things about the english language.
Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts," and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?
Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with.
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?
If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?
"I am." is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. How is it, then, that "I do," is the longest sentence?
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked and drycleaners depressed?
Why is it that if someone tells you that there are one billion stars in the universe, you'll believe it, but if you're told a wall has wet paint, you'll have to touch it to be sure?
If people from Poland are called "Poles," why aren't people from Holland called "Holes"?
Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
If man evolved from apes why do we still have apes?
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help section was, she said if she told me it would defeat the purpose.
If a mute kid swears does his mother wash his hands with soap?
Whose cruel idea was it to put an "S" in the word "Lisp"?
If a man stands in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him....Is he still wrong?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens suicide....is it considered a hostage situation?
Is there another word for synonym?
Isn't it scary that doctors call what they do "practice"?
What should you do if you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
Would a wingless fly be called a walk?
Is a shelless turtle homeless or just naked?
Do they use sterilized needles for lethal injections?
Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
What was the best thing BEFORE sliced bread?
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